Christmas day last year, I’m in the kitchen, surrounded by pots simmering on the stove, a cutting board laden with the festive bird, and a list of remaining chores to be done before the feast is ready. I have cooked all the favourites, decked the table with greens and candles, made the holiday punch, folded the pretty paper napkins and I am spent. Rising within me is a feeling of resentment as I slave over this meal while the rest of my family sit together doing their own thing. What I want is someone to join me in my labors in the kitchen. I want connection, even if they do not dirty a finger, I long to have someone beside me to share in the preparations. I could blame my family for this lack, but I could also blame myself for the expectations I have imposed on what these celebrations need to be. Have I like Martha in the Bible, made it all about being busy and missed the point?
When we think of gluttony many of us envision a post holiday meal kind of food coma, where we un-synch the belt a few notches or say a prayer of thanks for our stretchy pants. If we define gluttony as only an over-indulgence of food and drink, we can pat ourselves on the back and think we doing pretty good (as long as we forget Thanksgiving and Christmas). We can easily attempt to rectify this by cutting out one scoop of mashed potatoes and that extra slice of pumpkin pie.
Gluttony refers to something much broader than food or drink. It is “an overindulgence or an overconsumption of anything to the point of waste”[i], it can also result in deprivation to others. It is a “to have and to consume” mentality.
One way overconsumption shows up during the holidays is on our over-full calendars. We stuff the schedule full of visiting, merry-making, concerts, shopping, baking, and such. By the time Christmas Day arrives, we are exhausted and depleted, and have deprived ourselves of the peace the Babe in the Manger came to bring. We can see the waste of our time and energy in the things that use us up rather than fill us. Is this gluttonous consumption of the plethora of holiday trappings an attempt to convince ourselves and the world that we are “living the dream”? When we post our experiences, feasts, gifts and busyness on social media are we striving to prop ourselves up in the eyes of others? Being able to “have it all” and “do it all”, has become a way many of us measure our significance. It is usually only in the aftermath of celebrations do we realize how unfulfilled we truly are. We long for something more.
I have been guilty of attempting to make all the favourite holiday treats, scheduling festive events, shopping endlessly for the perfect gifts that I have missed out on the true joys of the season. I have robbed myself and others of the deep connection we all long for.
When God came to earth wrapped in the body of a baby, He did it to show that He chooses to be with us. He is not a distant Big Guy in the Sky, but one who comes near in our everyday ordinary lives. His name Immanuel literally means, “God with us”. It is this presence for which the people of God had been longing for hundreds of years, and which we each still long for today. To know that we are not alone, we have not been left to our own devices, and we are not orphans with none to rely upon. Rather we are the chosen people of the God who is as close as the air we breathe and who understands life as a human being.
For many of us, we come to understand the nearness and “withness” of God by having friends and family who are the embodiment of this. The Christmas season is one of loneliness for many. It can be a time when we feel more keenly the absence of those we love. Instead of filling our days to the brim with the busyness that seems necessary, could we instead, stop to connect with people around us in ways which reveal to us all that God has come close. Will we choose to invest in those moments which fill us and others in ways our busyness never could?
Instead of rushing around doing all the things, maybe this year I could choose a simpler way to celebrate and make room for true connection. I can hire a friend or the local bakery to make the holiday sweets, put up fewer decorations, order take-out on Christmas Eve, say “no” to a few unnecessary events (fight the FOMO), and even omit a dish or two from the Christmas feast. The important thing will not be whether we had glazed carrots and turnips on the table that day, but if we had time for one another. It will be of no consequence that we attended all of the events on the “What’s Happening” calendar, if we miss out on connection with the One who came at Christmas, and the people we love.
When I put away the lights and pack up the tree ornaments until next year, I want to be able to look back on this Christmas with gratitude for the deep connections made with family and friends. The meaningful conversations about faith, dreams, struggles, relationships; those things which matter most. I want to be able to list the times I was able to offer another the gift of my presence, free from distractions and hurry. It will be in moments like these that I can be like Jesus through being with my people, embodying the truth that God has come near.
[i] Kurtz, e. & Ketchum(2015), Experiencing Spirituality: Find meaning through Storytelling