When life is travelling along the rails we have set out for ourselves, the plans we have made, under the control we exert over our schedules, we feel all is well. It is when the train jumps the tracks and we experience the unexpected that fear and anxiety may rise up to meet us. We may be confronted with everyday disasters which stack up like a mountain in front of us; the dog getting sick, the refrigerator breaking down at the same time as the need for major car repairs. This can rob us of the equanimity we usually exhibit. When sickness comes to upset our schedules, when loss tears us apart on the inside, we find that our usual coping skills are no longer able to comfort and calm us. We all well aware that trouble inevitably comes, but when it does, we are surprised and find ourselves ill-equipped to deal with it. In this time of uncertainty caused by Covid-19 we may find ourselves under-equipped to handle our anxiety and stress.
This is when practises we have built into our everyday lives come to sustain and support us. On good days centering prayer and breath prayer can be calming and helpful, reminding us of the presence of God with us in all moments. However, it is during times of upheaval that this practise becomes a life-line, a buoy in our stormy sea.
This past fall I came to recognize the value of breathing and praying through a time of stress. Compared to other more serious challenges people face, this seems minor. However, in this non-life-threatening scenario, I have been reminded of the value of taking time on a regular basis to steep in the presence of God, so when the unexpected happens, I have worn a track to His heart, I have already forged a path to follow in times of darkness.
Earlier this year my husband and I were traveling through Croatia and Slovenia. We are planners and love to map out our days ahead of time, booking cute little apartments and our modes of transportation in advance. This trip we decided to travel by planes, buses and ferries so neither of us would need to navigate driving in a country new to us. We have done this before and enjoy just being able to sit back, relax, and enjoy the view. The morning of Sept. 16, we woke up early and headed to the bus station in Ljubljana, Slovenia to catch our bus back to Zagreb, Croatia to catch our plane to the pearl of the Adriatic, Dubrovnik. We had booked an early bus so we would have lots of time to make it to Zagreb, grab some lunch and then head to the airport for our flight to the southern tip of the county.
The Walls of Dubrovnik
Always ones to arrive early, we sat outside in the fresh air waiting for our bus to arrive. The depot was a bustling place with numerous buses heading to cities all over Europe. It was fascinating to watch as passengers were dropped off, met by family or friends, or conversely said their tearful goodbyes. We diligently watched and kept asking the drivers of the buses as they arrived if it was the one we were booked on, each time being turned away, with the assurance that ours would soon arrive.
After waiting what seemed like an eternity, my husband went inside to inquire about our bus. We were told it had been delayed and would arrive an hour late. No problem, we thought, since we had built lots of extra time into our schedule. A few minutes later there was an announcement that our bus would be 2 hours late due to delays at the border.
I could feel my anxiety rising. We went into the depot to ask if any other bus lines had another option. There were no other buses heading in the direction we wanted to go, we would just have to wait.
Eventually the bus arrived and all of us who had been waiting, by now impatiently, boarded with some relief. As we headed down the highway, we knew there was no assurance we would be on time to catch the flight we had so confidently booked. No too far along was the border crossing to navigate, which we feared would delay us further.
My breathing had become shallow and I tried to force myself to take deep breaths and relax. Worries about missing our flight, and not arriving in time to meet our hosts began to consume my thoughts. All of our careful planning could not guarantee smooth sailing. I tried to reason out what we would do. I could feel my shoulders inching up towards my ears and my whole body tightening with worry. Talking it out with my husband only seemed to intensify my fears.
I tried to settle in for the ride but could not relax. I tried reading a book but found the anxiety inside was distracting me so much that I could not take in the words. Writing was another way I sought to divert my thoughts, but again I could not concentrate.
I decided to put in my earbuds and listen to a podcast. I had been listening the Presence Project frequently in the previous few months and chose the next one in line. As we were riding along in the neon colored Flix bus, Summer’s soothing voice and words reminded me of God’s presence right there with me. I inhaled deeply. I gazed out the window and heard that I am a favourite of God’s, and He will never leave me. (I recommend you listen to the full podcast, but if you would just like to hear my story it is from 8:38-15:28)
I felt my body relax; my breathing slowed. I was consciously breathing in His care for me as I was reminded that He is a good Father who takes care of His children. I had not been left alone, but I could trust in the care of my Father. I don’t think I consciously used the word trust in breath prayer but that is what was happening.
I rehearsed the truth that I am held in the hollow of God’s hand no matter where on this earth I roamed. It did not matter whether we missed our flight or not since I was sure of His presence and provision for me. If we did get stranded in Zagreb, I could rest in His care for the remainder of the journey. I looked out the window and began enjoying the farmhouses passing by, the villages. When I was in a straight jacket of stress, it was as if I was in a fog of worry so that nothing came into focus, but through breathing in God’s care, I began experiencing what we had come here for - glimpses of the beautiful countryside.
As it turned out, the bus driver made up time by putting the pedal to the metal, the border crossing took only minutes, and we were able to make it to the airport with time to spare for a quick lunch. In turning my attention from my problems to gaze at the face of Jesus and seeing Him gazing back at me with such love, I rested in the assurance that I was in good hands no matter the outcome.
Dubrovnik at dawn
Below are instructions for you to follow if breath prayer is new to you.
BREATH PRAYER – Deep breathing directly impacts the part of the brain where stress dwells, encouraging our nervous system to slow down and eventually allows us to be fully present.
Take a deep breath in and then out. Breathe in deeply for a count of four and then exhale to a count of six. Elongating the exhale tells the body and mind to relax. Do it again—in and out.
· Now will silently pray “Lord, have mercy” as you breathe. With your inhale pray, “Lord” and your exhale “have mercy.” You could choose other words, depending on what you might need in the moment. You could just repeat the name “Jesus”, or the word “Trust” or “Be Still”
· Whenever you become aware of other thoughts, let them pass through your mind.
· Continue to breathe deeply and repeat the word or phrase you have chosen, opening yourself up to the presence of God.
· Repeat for the length of time you have chosen or at least 5 breaths.
The beauty of this type of prayer is that it only takes a few minutes, can be done at anytime, and in any situation. This type of contemplative prayer can decrease symptoms of worry, depression, anxiety and stress and can increase our awareness of God.
This is something we can practice everyday and also keep in our back pockets for the times when all we can do is breathe.
PEACE BE WITH YOU
Photos: 1. Derek Story (unsplash), 2. Umit Bulut (unsplash), 3. Sue Fulmore, 4. Annie Spratt (unsplash) 5. Sue Fulmore